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Humor--You Might Need a Hysterectomy Humor--You Might Need a Hysterectomy

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  #1  
Unread 10-14-2002, 04:59 PM
Humor--You Might Need a Hysterectomy

If You Can Answer Yes to Any 5 of These Statements, You Might Need a Hysterectomy

----Any humor you find is intentional.--------

10. That uterus has been causing you trouble for so long that you gave it a name.
9. You know at least 20 ways to keep your leg from falling asleep while you sit on the toilet.
8. You're going to sell your stock in your favorite feminine products company.
7. Tylenol just isn't enough anymore.
6. You just got a graduation invitation from another one of your gynecologist's kids.
5. You know what a TAH/BSO or an SAH or a LAVH is and all the reasons to have one.
4. You've only owned one pair of white pants since you were 14.
3. You no longer own a winter coat.
2. If you're married, your DH knows more about "female problems" than the average man.
1. Anyone you know is willing to drive you to the gynecologist any hour of the day or night in the hope you can get your "little problem" dealt with.
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  #2  
Unread 10-14-2002, 09:24 PM
Humor--You Might Need a Hysterectomy

Thanks for the
I needed to read that right now! 15 hours and 15 minutes away from my crowning. I can now go to sleep with a smile!
  #3  
Unread 10-15-2002, 07:36 PM
You know you need a hyster.......

*When you know the location of every ladies room in a 10 square mile area of everywhere you shop, live or work.

*You start out with two sets of panties--"good ones", and "bad ones", then give up and just have one set marked "don't look at these"

*You can name every single part of your anatomy from the waist down with the proper medical terms.

*You hurt every day of the month, not just "those days"

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  #4  
Unread 10-15-2002, 07:55 PM
Humor--You Might Need a Hysterectomy

Now ladies those are good and I needed a laugh right now.
What if you have the neverending Auntie Flo!
Are ready to sell your stock in Advil/Motrin!
Are wrapping your monthly supplies in gift wrap for your co workers!
  #5  
Unread 10-16-2002, 06:45 AM
Humor--You Might Need a Hysterectomy

~~~ Excellent Attitude Ladies ~~~

I love it, and humor is an excellent stress reliever.

*Dreams of wearing a white bikini while riding a white horse...
*Dreams of losing the nick name "lizzie bordon"....
*Dreams of the day the term "Bi*ch" refers to
Babe
In
Total
Control of
Herself



My dreams are now realities!! Except for the bikini part.

Melissa
  #6  
Unread 10-16-2002, 07:20 AM
Humor--You Might Need a Hysterectomy

How about---You need a pocketbook the size of a small suitcase to carry your supplies to get you throught the work day! (Been there done that!)

You go to visit a friend and are afraid to sit on their furniture for fear of bleeding through or worse you actually sit and bleed through! (Done that too)

At back to School Night a Parent tells you your pants are coverec in blood! (Another actual)

You go on an airplane,get period in flight and leave the plane COVERED in blood! Luckily I sat on a STACK of newspapers to protect the seat! I am shocked the Flight Crew didn't question me upon departure about my appearance!

These are all just MEMORIES now!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!
  #7  
Unread 10-16-2002, 11:03 AM
You might need a hyst if

Kotex and Tampax both make you an honorary shareholder.

If you're latest invention is a Pez dispenser modified for Tylenol.
  #8  
Unread 10-16-2002, 11:37 AM
Humor--You Might Need a Hysterectomy

Another One- If you can no longer use kotex (flood right through know matter how many you use) and you won't even make it out of the bathroom with a tampax and you have to use bladder control products. For my grand finale bladder control products weren't even strong enough and adult diapers became my "feminine protection"! What's FEMININE about that????????

I feel a ZILLION % BETTER!!!!!
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