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Unread 10-25-2002, 11:37 PM

Oh please, someone help-

I just found out my husband has been unfaithful to me and my heart is just aching. I thought we had the most beautiful relationship in the world. I always brag about him to others- now I feel like I have been duped.

I refuse to let him get away with this. When he comes home tonight I will give him a chance to "come clean" before I go off on him. I have no idea where this will lead. I have always said that I will not EVER stand for being cheated on.
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Unread 10-25-2002, 11:46 PM

You might want to go to this website:

There is a message board there where I'm sure others can identify with your problem.

Best wishes,
Unread 10-26-2002, 12:27 AM

Hi annike I'm so sorry, I'm sure you feel betrayed and hurt and angry. I wish I could reach through to you and give you these s in person.

Catherine has given you a link to a great website, it's a wonderful resource. I just wanted to add one little bit of advice: don't do anything drastic when you're so newly post op. Please try to stay calm and not make any decisions you might regret later. I know that's easier for me to say than for you to do, but trust this, OK?

I hope that somehow things will work out for you.
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Unread 10-27-2002, 05:25 AM

The girls have given you wonderful advice. I know your heart is broken so I just wanted to drop in and give you a

Unread 10-27-2002, 01:51 PM


thank you for all of your s and support. I finally talked heart to heart with him this morning. I feel like this is terrible timing in my life, but better I know about it so I can work it all out. I believe I have an even longer road ahead of me than I thought. I am emotionally zonked right now, and in dire need of a reprieve. Thank you for the beautiful website, I'm sure it will prove extremely helpful to both of us.
Unread 10-28-2002, 03:43 PM
Oh, don't I know

When I read this, it reminded me of me. My DH had an affair(but never came clean, she did years later to me, even though I knew through a P.I. etc) and told me he didn't love me during my DS's chemo. Talk about timing! If I can help, please let me know...don't do anything too quickly. Problems don't start or end overnight.....hang in there hon, I truly feel your heart break. Love to you, Tickles
Unread 10-30-2002, 09:13 AM

I can relate. My fiancee got cold feet as the wedding date got closer. He got busted the first day of his "affair." That's what happens in small towns!
After A LOT of talking and soul searching, he decided I really am the one he wants to be with. His "girlfriend" didn't like that and for the next year and a half, I was stalked - by her! She eventually was arrested (after I video taped her destroying my and my mothers property) and lost custody of her kids, and her best friend is still in jail for sending my fiancee a death threat.
A first, I was hurt, but that quickly turned to anger. How dare he just think I'm disposable, just because he's scared? Like I said, it was A LOT of talking and if you have counciling in your area or a priest/minister you can talk with (together and just for yourself), I would recommend this. Good luck, and if you need to talk, I'm at [email protected] (if you forget the "d" it'll go to my brother!).
Unread 10-30-2002, 06:37 PM

s annick...

I am so sorry you have this to deal with...Remember your health is the most important...Please go to the website that Catherine gave you....You need to speak with other women and get support you need...We are here for you sweetie and care very much....My heart is broken for you but stay strong......I will for you ....

Unread 10-31-2002, 09:23 AM

Well ladies,

Day 7 and I am so incredibly TIRED. I feel like my whole body is made out of lead and every move is excruciating. I could sleep for a whole week. We made an appt with my therapist for next week. She is also a relationship counselor. I think that will help.

My husband seems very supportive and willing to work hard on our marriage to save it. I feel guilty letting him back into my heart. He is being very nice and loving. I believe his intentions at this point, but don't trust his actions.

It is so wonderful to hear from you all. Other stories and perspectives help me to feel surrounded by friends- I'm really not alone! If I can get through depression, an unfaithful husband, and a hysterectomy all in the same season, I will be a stronger woman, that's for sure.
Unread 10-31-2002, 10:58 AM

Hi annike you ARE a very strong woman. I'm proud of you! It sounds like you are taking good steps here. The fact that your DH is willing to go to marriage counseling is a very good sign, many would not. The proof, as you say, will be in his actions. I am sure it will take you a long time to really put this behind you, and you will be watching him very carefully for a long time. That's OK, that's how we protect ourselves. I'm hoping for you that he has realized how important you are and decided you are worth working for. It doesn't hurt to make him have to keep working just a little bit... somehow guys seem to value things they have to work hard to get just a little more.

Sweetie it's OK to be tired, with everything you've been going through lately. I hope you are remembering you're still a and need your rest. Good luck with the counseling session, do let us know how you're doing OK?


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