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Desperate!  Help! Desperate! Help!

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  #1  
Unread 11-09-2002, 05:35 PM
Desperate! Help!

Can someone please make me feel like I am not so alone, and/or offer some advice -- other than to call my Dr...
I am 7 weeks post-op TAH/USO -- I think physically I'm about right on target, but I am absolutely a *mess* mentally and emotionally. Had all removed but one ovary -- Dr. said two months at first to get hormones back to normal, now 2-3 *more* months, and will **not** give me anything to help! I have talked to my psychiatrist (who increased anti-depressants) and my "talk doctor", but I really don't think anyone believes (understands) what I am telling them. I cannot even describe how horribly depressed I feel without one of you wanting to call 9-1-1. I *don't* want to hurt anyone (including myself) -- but I am scaring myself -- as well as DBF at times. I know this will pass, I know it will, but when I'm at my worst, I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel... I cried and cried b/c as much as I knew there would be issues, *nothing* anyone told me could have prepared me for this emotional nightmare. I have been depressed several times in my life and am not real interested in being tragedy girl again, nor in ruining wonderful relationship with DBF, or for that matter, the healthy relationship I have spent the last few years building with myself... Sorry to blah blah blah, but I just don't know what to do! I will call Drs on Monday, *but* for one, fear, again, that they don't get how serious this is, two, not sure I won't be in the ER by then, and three, -- oh yeah, that's the other thing -- my brain is so foggy I am surprised I can find my own bedroom... Please offer anything you can!! ASAP!!! :cry:
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  #2  
Unread 11-09-2002, 06:15 PM
Desperate! Help!

I just read your profile and it sounds like you have a great life. You sound so sad right now. Please, call the local crises line. You will work all of this out - you are strong.



Maureen
  #3  
Unread 11-09-2002, 06:30 PM
Desperate! Help!

Hi,
I just wanted you to know that we are here sending lots of love and s.

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time right now. I think krijor gave good advice. Please take action and call for help. You WILL get through this! I'm sure you know that when you're in depression, your mind has you convinced things are worse than they really are, and really blows things out of proportion. Please hang in there till your body stabilizes and you have a brighter
outlook. It WILL happen!

Sue
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  #4  
Unread 11-09-2002, 06:45 PM
Desperate! Help!

Hi. You gotta hang in there. You've aleady won half the battle by recognizing that things are not right and you've won 3/4 of the battle by taking steps to fix things. Now you keep working on that last 1/4. I've been where you are. My DH has seen me through it. He convinced me not to give up on myself. Now I'm trying to convince you to take care of yourself.

I HATED it when he told me to get busy and exercise and do anything to keep myself occupied. Now I'm telling you...so you can hate my suggestions too, but at least you don't have to live with me!

Keep your mind on other things, even just for a little while. This can help you face a lot more when you drift back. Paying attention to distractions is one good trick that helps me find the mental strength to deal with a LOT of physical and mental unrest. I'm not saying ignore the problems. I'm saying help yourself find the mental strength to deal with them, the same way you're using anti-depressants to help deal with them. Depression issues are complex, and you need to develop a good variety of solutions to keep in your bag of tricks to deal with them.

Also, maybe ask about changing your anti-depressant. Don't forget they can stop being effective. There a lot of good ones out there, so maybe switching might help you.

DON'T STOP TRYING!!! Take it one hour, one day at a time. I know you can make it! I'm sending hugs and I will pray for you.

mw
  #5  
Unread 11-09-2002, 06:58 PM
Desperate! Help!

Hi sweetie!
If you don't feel that your doctor is doing all he can to help you during this time, you might seriously consider "interviewing" an alternate doctor who may be able to help you with your hormones. I've read many a story where someone did not feel like their dd was hearing their issues, and had to switch to another doctor. I'm not even sure if that's an open option to you, but if it is, you might want to give your insurance company a call ASAP and find out how you go about seeing a different doctor post-op. I know before my surgery, I got mis-diagnosed TWELVE times by 12 different doctors....and girl I just about caved myself. Before it was all over I had been told I had everything from rheumatoid arthritis to bursitis to fybromyalga (spell..?) to Epsteine Barre Syndrome to Chronic Fatigue syndrome, I was even told I had "Vampire's Syndrome." I never even asked what that was about...it sounded too freaky! The depression during that was so aweful. Turns out my uteris was falling outta me, and my hormones were just a tad out of whack. (understatement..) I am a newlywed and had just moved to a strange city, new job, no family doctor etc. when all this hit the fan. Plus, my legs ached so bad prior to surgery that they incorrectly gave me steriods and shots in my thighs for months!!! My dh is in the Army and there I was limping around w/all these horrible symptoms and trying not to get fired from my job due to all the illness. I'm only telling you all this so you will know that you are not alone. No one could have prepared me for this recovery, either, and the depression that comes on like a freight train. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. (And that's saying something! ) I'm not on hormones, I kept both ovaries..at least now when I get depressed I can blame it on the surgery. I tell myself over and over I've been through ALOT, and try hard to give myself a break. Please call someone if things get too scary but in the mean time, I've found taking an action (i.e. researching new docs, natural remedies etc.) helps me feel so much better, just knowing I'm taking strides in the right direction. Make this into an "action list" and keep it with you at all times...and print all your hyster sister support messages so you can read our encouragement when you need it. And I agree w/MJW...take your days 1 hour or day at a time, heck take it 5 minutes at a time if you need to. One zillion 's to you, please keep us posted on how you are doing.
  #6  
Unread 11-09-2002, 07:20 PM
Desperate! Help!

Dear Princessinva....

Please listen to all the sisters great advice!!! You are heading in the right direction. I know exactly how you feel (depression is so horrible, and I too live with it on a daily basis). You definately need to speak with your Dr. as soon as possible, if he still acts so unconcerned then maybe you will need to find a more caring and supportive Dr. There are great Doctors out there and you deserve one of them!! Two nights after my surgery, while I was still in the hospital, I had the big daddy of all anxiety attacks. I felt just like you do....wondering if I had made the right decision about having surgery and blubbering over and over how I never should have had the surgery, that I was losing my mind because of it, and I was possitive I would never be the same. The nurse called my Dr. and he ordered a Xanax for me....it relaxed me and I fell asleep. When I woke up I felt fine and did not have any anxiety...have you ever taken Xanax? I am not sure it is the answer for you but I know from experience that it does take away all the irrational, unrealistic and overwhelming thoughts. It makes you feel *real* again!!! You will get through this, and you will be whole again. I also know that sometimes we just need to hear this reassuring and we start to heal. Please hang in there...you're doing everything you're suppose to.....but talk to your Dr. and if he/she is not willing to listen then find a compassionate Dr. that will. Please know that I am ing for you, and will continue to do so. Please let us know how you make out or if you need to talk.


Shelly
  #7  
Unread 11-09-2002, 07:31 PM
Desperate! Help!

Dearest Princessinva,
only who lived such depressions can understand you.
I am having terrible times after hyster...but before ws esperately depressed. The last thing a person wants is to be depressed........and doctors telling you stupid things and giving pills for nerves, not always the best ones.....
besides natural progesterone cream.....and who knows if pregnenolone, try with the complete set of vit. B, with Calcium, magnesium, quercitin or alpha lipoic acid, MSM. No coffee, the least amount of sugar, many vegetables, turmeric...Animal protein in small amounts. The least possible amount of milk..
You may need Zinc and boron also. Look for a kynesiologist who can measure what you really need.
I am not well, but am having some relief for moments...of course every case is different...My adrenocortical glands are not quite cooperative, nor my brain demyelination.
Reiki also helps, you can be sure!!! Also accupuncture
I am a scientist who had to quit at 33 because of a strong intoxication.......and I lived in hell for a long time........Still not quite O.K. Maybe never will be, but I assure you I overcame many troubles
So you can be sure , my dear friend, that you will improve. Your head will be clearer and you will be smiling again.
I apologize for my English, but am sure you understand me.
love, love and love for you
  #8  
Unread 11-09-2002, 09:44 PM
Desperate! Help!

In addition to all the wonderful advice you've gotten so far, be sure you are taking good care of yourself physically. Eat well, go for a walk (or *something* every day), drink enough fluids, and get plenty of rest.

After my hyst I found that pain and tearfullness were worse if I was the least bit run down. I'm not saying there's any miracle cure in it (sounds like you've got hormonal or depression issues going on), but resting and getting good nutrition couldn't hurt, and might help.

  #9  
Unread 11-10-2002, 04:41 PM
Desperate! Help!

Hi. I stopped by to see if you had been here, but I don't see anything from you. Please e-mail me if you need to.
mw
  #10  
Unread 11-10-2002, 08:14 PM
Just checking in...

Not feeling nearly as dark today as previous days, but as I know, and I'm sure many of you, that doesn't mean it can't happen 10 minutes from now. DBF has been absolute SAINT, I have no idea how he does this, but he does.... Yesterday he blew off all plans to spend day with me -- picnic, hot bath, popsicles, naps, etc... I went to work for a few hours today, and actually cooked dinner. Exhausted, but still feel well enough to do some research to help me. I *will* call Dr's in the morning, but have decided to check into some alternative therapies as well (in addition to, not instead of). Looking for things mildly physical with mental and spiritual impact as well. Suggestions? Currently reading some stuff on Reiki, hot stone massage, accupressure, castor oil packs, Tai Chi, and Belly Dancing... I really just want to feel better -- in ALL aspects of my life! Who cares if your body feels fine when your head and spirit are a mess???? Any suggestions appreciated, as well as on books, authors, doctors, websites, essential oils, etc. Equal opportunity healing needed here... Eternally grateful for any and all help (including the help you have all already given me)....
Happy, healing thoughts to all,
~M
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