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Did I do the right  thing?  Really? Did I do the right thing? Really?

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Unread 11-11-2002, 05:44 AM
Did I do the right thing? Really?

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this venting, but I didn't want to post this on the regular post-op where some might see it and get overwhelmed.

So here it is...I need to know if I did the right thing.

When will I ever feel like this was all worth it? I hear so many ladies say how gald they are that they did this, and they say it right away. I guess I'm questioning myself now, because I went in anemic, weak and tired. I came out MORE anemic ,weak and tired. I went in with No pain, came out in pain that's still hanging on. I went in bleeding, and came out bleeding and am still spotting. I have had one little abnormal issue after another during the healing process, and now my back is hurting (mid-back left side) and can't get comfortable. Before surgery I loved my work, lived my work, and couldn't stay away from work. Now I have no desire to go back to work, I'm just too tired.
Is this normal to feel these doubts and become almost depressed at 5weeks?

Was it really worth it? I thought that doing this and getting it over with would be better than allowing "nature" to take it's course whenever she saw fit, unpredictably. But those times seem, in my mind now, tobe minor incoveniences compared with this major interuption in my life. When will I feel better enough to look back and say, Yes it was worth the pain and recovery time!?

Please, I know it's an individual thing, and no one can say how I should feel, but can anyone tell me WHEN I'm probably going to begin feeling like this surgery was the right thing ?
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Unread 11-11-2002, 06:44 AM
Did I do the right thing? Really?

sorry you are feeling down and doubting your surgery, its a very emotional surgery in any case and your emotions might be all over the place just now, just wanted to tell you to hang in there , it does get better,
take care , i hope you start to feel better soon,
Unread 11-11-2002, 10:40 AM
Did I do the right thing? Really?

Thanks for the kind words Denise!

I think maybe the hormones are playing a little part in this too. Even though I'm on Climara and have been since surgery, I know that my own sotres have still been kicking in for this transition time. I'm beginnign to feel a little like there has been a change in them, like maybe I'm almost used up of my own stores and will now be totally depending on the patch from now on. I've never been a crier, except when the h ormones were going crazy, and so far I've only had a moment or two since the Patch (in fact hormonally I've never felt better) but this week I think could be a test. I cried when I read your note...not ata all like me. And I creid at an episode of MASH on TV the otherday. Not long, not uncontrollable, but certainly out of character for me. So I guess maybe, the physical doubts, and the hormones are coming together to bug me.

I just want some energy back. I can't beleive how yuck I feel still, and I'm a go getter usually.
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Unread 11-11-2002, 03:09 PM
Did I do the right thing? Really?

You know, I was about 4 weeks post when I found Hyster Sisters. I felt like I had a rubber band attached from my navel to my big toe. The pulling in my tummy was awful. I was sleeping all the time, crying off and on and all I could see was in another four weeks I would have to go back to work. I had no idea what recovery was suppose to be like so I went surfing. I found out that I wasn't crazy.... I'm a Princess!!!!! So are you! All of your feelings are normal and yes, this is where you can come and vent. Your energy level will return and you will become you again. I am 10 months post and it's true what they say about it taking a full year to recover. I still get sleepy easier and my tummy swells if I over do it at the end of the day. See Janet, you are still very early in recovery. Prop your feet up, crawl in bed, cry over tv shows or spilled milk...... it's OK! I'm going to turn the on for you here. You come back and vent when you need to. This recovery just takes time. Karlene
Unread 11-11-2002, 03:31 PM
Did I do the right thing? Really?

Thank you for your words! They were so kind and encouraging. I know from all my time here with the sisters that all this is within the norm. I guess sometimes I read about others that are so glad they did this right away,even in the midst of the pain and healing time, and that makes me feel frustrated that I'm really feeling no relief at all. I just want to be myself again!

I'm sure that at some point in time I'll feel okay about it, but when will I quit doubting my choice and believing this is worth it?

I guess I thought that by week 5 I'd feel a lttle more energy. I'm afraid to even try doing anything because my limitations frustrate me. Okay, I guess the root of this is that I'm terrible at long term projects! I always loose patience with anything that seems to drag on too long. All the people who know me will only tease me and give me grief about it if I let on how frustrated I am. So I'm feeling the internal pressure to grin and bear it and give the impression that I'm doing okay with the slow process.

Sory, just whinning. Thanks again for listening and reponding so kindly!
Unread 11-14-2002, 07:24 PM
Did I do the right thing? Really?

Janet: Wow I hear ya. My surgery was in January and it literally took me all winter and all summer to be better. I was sick the ENTIRE winter after surgery. I thought I would NEVER get better. I told many people that over and over. I would end up crying and depressed and it seemed no one understood. I've been using natural progesterone cream for 3 months now and I do finally feel good. It helps balance your hormones and helps with all kinds of symptoms. Keep your chin up. Thank goodness you found this sight. Everyone here is great. You WILL get better. It's a lonnnnnnnngggggggggg haul--believe me.

Unread 11-19-2002, 05:20 PM
Did I do the right thing? Really?

From what my doctor told me, depression after the ovaries are removed is normal but should be addressed quickly since it can be corrected with hormones (or so my doctor says). Personally I sometimes still wonder if I've lost my mind.

It WILL get better. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel - but do not wallow in it.
Unread 11-19-2002, 05:47 PM
Did I do the right thing? Really?

Thank you for that word of encouragement! I'm doing better now for the most part. I think I just have a blue moment or two now and again because I'm such an active person by nature and have been slowed down so much by all of this. I guess I didn't know how long I'd feel so bad and that bugs me.

For the most part. I need only review the reality of my pathology report to keep focused of the need to have done this. As anyone can see from my information, I did have a significant amount of stuff going awry inside of me and I know it, but I sometimes wonder if I put myself through this for nothing. If it would have evntually gotten better on it's own. I know better. My doctor told me my chances of developing cervical cancer were huge, and the ovarian problems had gone on all my life. With ovarian cancer and uterine cancer also in my direct family I have to believe this was for the best. I just hate the short term effects.

Thanks again. I needed it!
Unread 11-19-2002, 11:22 PM
Did I do the right thing? Really?

Hi Ladys

I have said this so much since my surgery...Did I really need it????? and all the anger that I felt....Well I truly know it saved my life and the way I was before I would not want to go back to...So I now say I will deal with this try to keep healthy and find balance,,,,,,,,,,

I now cane say yes I did the right thing and needed it....And when I think about it I felt soooo much worse before...Things will get better...

Unread 11-20-2002, 05:57 AM
Did I do the right thing? Really?

ThanksSO much Big Sis

I needed that soo much this morning. The tears have started again. I'm really struggling with feeling so bad and realizing how long it's going to take to get back into life again is not setting well.
I know this cold I have isn't helping but darn it, I just want to begin feeling better.

Thanks for the encouragement

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