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less of a woman? less of a woman?

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Unread 12-04-2002, 07:59 AM
less of a woman?

Hello sisters,

Have been reading the posts and posted a couple myself. This site is awesome!!!. Having surgury on the 17th. Starting to freak out a little bit. Had a d & c about 3 months ago, was really nervous about that, can honestly say I am less nervous about the TVH (keeping overies) I am about to have. I think I have relief in mind for when this is over. I am 34 constant bleeding and severe pain due to fibroids. Right now I am more concerned about work and my 17 year old daughter who didn't behave all that well the first time. Hopeing she does this time.
Does anyone feel less of a woman? I am pretty concerned about how I will feel emotionally. Sort of like a nueterd (spelling?) cat. I know that's not what it's all about but I would be a liar if I said it hasn't crossed my mind. I feel like I am being made to choose between the lesser of two evils. No uterus or no quality of life.
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Unread 12-04-2002, 08:15 AM
Less of A woman???

Just wanted to pop in and add my
Today is one month since my TVH(kept the ovaries) and I am doing great....sore at times and tired after wprking all day but never regretted having this done...As for feeling less of a woman....no way!!! Dabbled with DH and not problem with that department.......and really excited to not have to worry about flooding and bleeding all the time....I just cleaned out the surplus of super maxi pads and boxes of tampons to give away....keeping the mini pads just incase......DR said that I should be fine keeping my ovaries...have some "miles" left on them yet....
The worst part of this whole ordeal was the waiting....then after surgery for us TVHers is to remember to NOT to things....beware of feeling too good and overdoing....
Feel free to email me anytime if you need to ask questions or vent....Good luck and God Bless....

Unread 12-04-2002, 09:53 AM
less of a woman?

I agree with lilly. Tomorrow will be the 4 week mark after my TAH/BSO and I can't wait to be cleared for sex. The constant bleeding from the fibroids and the pain from endo were far greater problems than not have a uterus.

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Unread 12-04-2002, 10:47 AM
Hi Angelanet!

I agree with you this sight has been so helpful, I dont think I could have done this without the info and support from the wonderful HysterSister family that Im now a part of. I must admit at around 2 weeks post the less of a woman thing was on my mind no matter how hard I tried to think of other things. I cried and grieved over my uterus. I thought I was insane!! I remember the feeling of womanhood when I got my first period, and was sad, felt like part of me was gone. Im 36 and been going thru menopause for 6 years. The last 3 years have been horrible,hot flashes, night sweats(changing jammies 5 to 7 times a night,soaked head to toe) super tired, drained all the time. heavy bleeding and constant uterus pain (4 or 5 good days a month) My tubes were tied 13 years ago but been on birth control ever since to help with the pain. I think grieving for my uterus was natural(a hyster is so very emotional) But Im happy to report I feel more of a women now. All menopause symptoms are gone and I have energy, and WOW NO MORE PAIN I kept both overies and feel so much at peace emotionally. Since loosing my uterus Im more me than Ive been in years!!! ,ss **Kimberly**
Unread 12-04-2002, 11:00 AM
less of a woman?

Hi! Here is one of my favorite old threads about how you might feel after a hyst. https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/sho...threadid=53865 I know I feel great and just as feminine almost 18 months after mine. I really like how I look and feel on Estrace, and I'm glad I had a TAH BSO. Hopefully all you LIWs will look back on your surgery the same way when you are recovered. May you be happier, healthier, and glad you're a woman a year from now! s and best wishes!
Unread 12-04-2002, 11:20 AM
less of a woman?


I'm a LIW with surgery on the 18th. I too look forward to no more flooding and pain, etc. I have mourned the children I did not have - it was a good process, but I don't expect to feel less a woman after surgery. God did not make us to live in pain and has given us good Drs to heal us. I think a positive attitude is going to be my best asset ...

but the waiting is really getting to me. You are all so right! I'm stressing out over all the things that need to get done ... it had me up at 2:30 this morning. Thouht of posting then but didn't know if anyone on the other side of the world was registered!

Hang in there - you're a day before me, so you'll have one more day to discover the beautiful woman you have and will be! Good luck!

Unread 12-04-2002, 11:24 AM
less of a woman?

You guys are the best. thank you for the thread reference. I keep telling myself it will be o.k. as I sit here at my desk and cry. Feeling a bit sorry for myself as well. The pain is worsening and I am sure it something to do with how tense I am feeling now. Not enough advil in the free world right now. I don't want to be a baby but I can't be a tough guy either. Never knew I had an emotional attachment to my uterus. All I know right now is it's mine and I don't want to give it up
Unread 12-04-2002, 11:35 AM
less of a woman?

Angelanet...Everything I've read from the crowd has been very positive about womanhood after the hyst...and doesn't it beat what we're experiencing now?? One of my coworkers HAS told me that she considers a hyst "female snorflation" I just looked at her and told her that I consider it EMANCIPATION! I think that a lot of women in the distant past went through hysts with little choice, we are going into this with our eyes wide open, knowing that it will change our quality of life...FOR THE BETTER! No more sudden, unexpected, painful overflowing clotting periods...ever! Freedom from THAT will be an improvement in our quality of life. Much more makes us women than just a 75 gram piece of flesh! Our whole genetic make up makes us women, and taking out a DEFECTIVE organ won't change that!! (Just like taking out an inflamed apendix won't make us less human, just healthier!)

Sis, we're down to just 13 days...hang in there!! WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS WAITING, AND THE WAIT WILL BE WORTH IT!!
Know that you're in my prayers,
Unread 12-04-2002, 12:11 PM
less of a woman?

Hi Angelanet,
I had a TAH/BSO and Bladder Repair on 10/28/02 and I beat myself up terribly with the notion that I would be less of a woman because of having these disfunctional organs removed. Well, I am here to tell you that I am thankful for the beautiful children I was able to concieve, the doctors who were able to help me feel better, the castle nurses who constantly looked over me like angels and GOD comforted me and gave me the strength to endure during this difficult time in my life and I feel more of a woman now than ever. I will no longer be prohibited from enjoying the simple things in life. Having intimate times with my husband all the time, not just a few days out of the month. Swimming with my son in the pool (I could not use tampons; adult diapers in a bikini wouldn't look so cool). Running around the yard with my dogs and playing soccer with my son. Sneezing, coughing, etc. God made you a woman, you will always be a woman and don't let this surgery keep you up at night. You will be in my prayers. Good luck
Unread 12-04-2002, 04:19 PM
less of a woman?

Less of a woman??? Grrrrrrr. Physicsteacher, I would have PUNCHED a coworker who said that to me! The implication there is that all women are good for is having babies! Sure, having babies can be fine, but what about women who can't (even with a uterus) or who choose not to?

My hyst. is scheduled for Dec. 18. OK, I'm losing some organs that are causing me a whole bunch of pain and they happen to be SOME of the things that identify me as a female. But, you know what? I have really nice breasts, big blue eyes, a good figure (or at least it will be when the endo swelling is gone for good!), a woman's empathy, compassion and caring.

In short, I'm about to become a BETTER WOMAN who isn't controlled and inhibited by her painful cycles and hemorrhage-like bleeding and who can enjoy life to the fullest for once in many years!!!!!


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