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Unread 01-31-2003, 09:58 AM

(((Terry))), all your sisters will be for you next Friday. And please do let us know how the visit with the cardiologist goes... we'll be there with you, holding your hand. The 7th is only a week away, you can do this!
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Unread 01-31-2003, 02:39 PM

Hey Terry,

I'm so sorry that you are going to have to go through this again. I'm surely glad that Louise and others are here to tell you how it went with them. I hope that you will take this week to eat well, rest well, take your vitamins if it's okay with the docs, and just get prayed up. I will pray that this week you can just let that stress go. (easy for me to say-hard for me to do) Hope all goes well with the cardiologist.

Please keep us posted!

Unread 02-06-2003, 01:05 PM
End of the road

I know I have made the decision so sign off this chat line. I have never been the chat line type so maybe I have just grown weary of it. But before I go I have to explain myself. I felt sorry for myself in the beginning as many of you do and asked why me. Well now that I have come to grips with all this I know that if God decides it is the end of the road for me then he has reason. 2 years ago one month after being diagnosed as peri-menopausal my mother-in-law became quite ill with phneumonia. She was in a terrible hospital that didn't diagnose it and finally 4 days later we took her by ambulance to the hospital I am going to tomorrow. A day later they installed a feeding tube in her tummy that she still has to this day. Dr. told us we could not take her home that she would have to go to a nursing home. After many arguments she came home with us. We fed, bathed and cared for her. She had therapists that came to our home. She came home with the feeding tube and a cathater. Less then a week later the cathater was out and she could urinate. 3 months later she could eat small amounts of food (she had lost her ability to swallow) but was taught another way to do it. 3 times a day we put her liquid nutrition and medicine in her tube. My husband had quit his job in order to care for his mother full time. People said the cruelest things to us. 6 months after her release from the hospital we moved this 85lb, 87 year old woman into her own apartment where her 97 year old sister lives. My mother in law is a very good catholic. She prayed everyday to die. She didn't. She drives her own car, feeds herself by tube, is nearly 100% self sufficent and takes care of her sister. Why did God not let her die. I think because her sister has turned senile and needs constant care but her 4 daughters are too cheap & selfish to give her the care she needs. My mil is the only person keeping her sister from starving to death. She blames her recovery on the love our dog bestowed on her. She now sends our dog birthday & christmas cards with money in it just like she was a grand daughter. I no longer have the time or patience to feel sorry for myself. My stepson is going to the Persian Gulf soon and his family will need our support. God has a plan for all of us. Some people will find out what it is and some of us will never know but I do know that if my mil can go through all she went through and be as strong and self sufficient as she is then I can too.
Feeling sorry for myself has never gotten me anywhere and without these problems I would have never met my uro and gyn that have become like family to me. I wish I could have met them under different circumstances but we don't always get what we wish. I hope you all continue your chats if they are solace to you but I am tired of dwelling on fistulas and really feel the need to change the subject. My sister is my best friend and lives 500 miles from me. She suffers from I.C. and has terrible bladder pains and infections but we have so much to talk about that I realized I can talk to her for hours at a time without the subject of our bladders coming up and I always feel better afterwards. I am not as nervous about this surgery as I was the last. My carpenter and friend just installed a doggy door for my dog & cat, was here for 2 hours and I forgot to tell him I was having surgery tomorrow because we were discussing Iraq. Good luck to all members of the fistula club. I hope you have a lot of fun at your cath burning parties and reminicing about the good old days. I quite frankly don't want to be remembered as one of the fistula ladies.
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Unread 02-07-2003, 08:19 AM

Originally posted by Louise2

Since this was Terry's thread, and she has chosen to sign off, I will be posting over on the "fistula recovery" thread I started. I hope you will all continue to support me as I hope to do for you.
Thank you Louise for encouraging the women to start NEW threads for each of their concerns. (WHen a thread gets longer than a page or two and its not on one topic, one support issue, it is a problem)

Its SOOOO important that you begin a *new* thread for each person's concern.

SInce this was Terry's thread and she has posted her "goodbye" I am closing this thread. If she returns to share with us her latest surgery outcome, she can start a new thread (with hopefully good results) but we will close this thread.

((( Terry ))) We wish you well and pray for a healthy recovery.

Let me also share with this group emails I have received about this "exclusive" club.

Although I have attempted to handle this in private via email and PM in the past, apparently I'm not communicating well...And since many members have written about this "exclusive club" and don't know that I've attempted to fix things from behind the scenes, I think it best to address this in public for the members who have a concern to see.

THere are many women who deal with fistulas during hyst surgery recovery.

THere are many members who have dealt with other bladder issues that would like to have helped to support and encourage each of you as you have gone through your recovery and healing.

But because of the "chit chat" nature that many of these "fistula threads" have taken on, the nature of the support gets watered down and many don't feel they can participate. It appears to be an online clique of a few women instead of a support thread for women to encourage through a tough time.

1. I'm asking that each of you begin a thread for your own concerns with your surgery/fistula so that the other members can participate and encourage you. When one member begins a thread, the replies should be addressed to her and her needs of support.

2. I'm asking that you refrain from chatter/non-support comments within these support threads. (Email each other to share personal family matters, private issues for your own privacy protection and the "on-topic" nature of a thread)

3. Consider beginning an email group together so that you can keep up with each others private lives *off* this public board. (Again, off-topic and concern for privacy/safety issues)

4. I'm also asking that you check out the rest of the website to find other women who are dealing with "like" issues that you could help them too with post-op complications.

Thanks, Ladies, for understanding

Ya'll are great! I'm so happy you have found each's other's support to be helpful during such a tough time. Aren't women wonderful?
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