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Unread 01-24-2003, 05:47 AM
Some Funnies

I got this in email this morning... boy did I need the chuckle.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound?

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?

Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

What's the opposite of opposite?

If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?

Why is the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star the same tune?

I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?

Did Adam and Eve have navels?

Do one legged ducks swim in circles?

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

And who opened that first OYSTER and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't THIS look yummy." ???
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Unread 01-24-2003, 06:13 AM
Some Funnies


Some of these sound like Stephen Wright-isms. He says things like " Why do we park on driveways & drive on parkways?"

Thanks for the funny start to the day!

Laughter really is the best medicine!
Unread 01-24-2003, 08:12 AM
Some Funnies

These are great. Thanks so much for sharing them.
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Unread 01-25-2003, 07:20 AM
Some Funnies

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Unread 01-25-2003, 08:18 AM
Some Funnies

Too cute! Thanks for sharing.

Unread 01-25-2003, 09:40 PM
Some Funnies

Oh, those are great!!

And to add a couple that I've read somewhere,

If you spin an Oriental person around in circles, do they become disoriented?


Why do they use a sterile needle for a lethal injection?
Unread 01-26-2003, 07:52 AM
Some Funnies

Thanks for adding those, Sashi!

Unread 02-08-2003, 10:22 AM
Some Funnies

Here's one I heard on our local radio

Why is it, whatever temperature the room is, its always room temperature

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