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DD diagnosed with ADD DD diagnosed with ADD

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Unread 01-24-2003, 07:15 AM
DD diagnosed with ADD

Admin note: here's the link to the BEST daily thread for January 24th daily thread

I'm trying to research ADD all of a sudden!
16 yr old dd just diagnosed with "severe" add.

She has done well on standardized tests but performs rather poorly in school. We've always been told "If she would just try a little harder...she's so bright, if she'd only apply herself..." the poor kid. SHe has been struggling so long. Just got the test results last night & her impairment is quite significant.

Have I mentioned that I was raised catholic? I FEEL GUILTY!!! It's a long story & I've had her to millions of docs over the years...never figured this one out. dumb.

Do any of you have any advice for me? The doc has recommended neurofeedback treatment. Anyone have any experience with this?

Thanks for your help!

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Unread 01-24-2003, 09:40 AM
DD diagnosed with ADD

Xena, my DH is ADD and we only diagnosed it about 2-3 years ago. He is 63, so it has been a tremendous change for both of us to learn to live with it and manage it. He is also OCD which makes for a very confusing life for him, and frustrating for him and everyone else involved with him. But it's an interesting challenge. There is an ADDventures list that I"ll be glad to tell you about offlist. I am subbed at home, but am currently no-mail. The funny thing is that I couldn't get anyone's attention on the list, and my DH isn't about to spend time on the computer, neither has the patience to sit and wait for the internet, nor to read or reply to messages. It can be handled though and there are many ways to deal with it, including diet!! Anyway, we can discuss it backchannel. But believe me, I KNOW the stresses involved with living with an ADD person.

Unread 01-24-2003, 10:50 AM
DD diagnosed with ADD

Hey Xena - Let that guilt go! You *did* keep after it, and you *did* find the problem, and you *are* getting her help. You're doing fine! Interesting about the ADD... That's exactly the kind of thing I heard all through school... "But you're one of the brightest kids in the class, why don't you work harder / do better?" Hmmph. In any case, go easy on yourself - you have a whole pile of stressors going on. Maybe getting out for a walk would be good "therapy".

Desk - I'd love any info on what can/should be done about it as an adult. What kind of testing is available, etc....
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Unread 01-24-2003, 11:58 AM
DD diagnosed with ADD

I'm back for a moment to address HW and Xena specifically, but this is also diet and goal-oriented:

I'll start another post on the ADD resources after I get home and can locate them. DH has several books and references, I think. One in particular that is recommended is entitled "Driven to Distraction." I don't know who wrote it, but DH and his DS have both read it and think it is great. And DH's sister sent him book last year about managing ADD with diet (I think issues included sweets and additives and preservatives, but I'm not sure), and our counselor recommended an ADD workbook that DH and his DD have found helpful.

This has been a major breakthrough for us in PLANNING our diet (see last night's whine!) because we finally discussed that we can set these major and mini goals but without a 1-2-3 plan to follow, we can't do it. He can't because he can't keep focused long enough, and I can't because I keep feeling sabotaged :hair: After reading about your plans, and reading Flylady's posts about taking baby steps and doing things for fifteen minutes only, we are starting to make some progress. Baby steps of progress, but the potential is there. DH is trying to apply these new skills to his employment, too. This would be nice...

Look for a new post this weekend, okay?

Desk, feeling very positive right now!
Unread 01-24-2003, 12:34 PM
DD diagnosed with ADD

Thanks Desk!

You could send it privately (via e-mail). I don't want to get too off-topic...

I'll keep an eye out for that book.
Unread 01-24-2003, 12:35 PM
DD diagnosed with ADD

Wow, thanks Desk! I appreciate the info so far & look forward to what is to come. I'm very interested in the dietary info. and thanks for the hug, I needed that!

Hwoman, Yeah, I'll try to forgive myself, but you know how that is..when we feel we've hurt or let down our children, well that's a tough one! Still, I recognize it's a sub-issue that's counter-productive anyway. Like you, I feel that much of the add stuff applies to me as well. Oh brother.

Unread 01-24-2003, 12:45 PM
DD diagnosed with ADD

((((Xena))))): ADD is scary, but it's not the end of the world. I have it, my DH has it, my DS has the most severe form of it and we're all surviving. DH and I are thriving in our chosen fields. Here's a link to a resource thread in Parenthood: here's the link: https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/sho...threadid=78628. And, ((((((Xena))))))) Please don't feel guilty: it's not your fault. Diagnosing ADHD in girls is really hard: most specialists still think it's a boy thing and most specialists still only recognize ADHD with Hyperactivity. And, ((((sweetie))))) you're worth more that Chips and Coca-Cola.

Hi (((((Desk))))) Thanks for all the input re: ADD, coping and planning. Sounds like it will help a lot of us. Just so you know, I've including a "Special ed" resources thread in the Parenthood forum, therefore, if you'd like to, please add your resources post to that thread.. here's the link: https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/sho...threadid=78628

((((Linda))))) I knew we were related: I heard all of the same things all through school....
Unread 01-24-2003, 12:49 PM
DD diagnosed with ADD

((((Xena))))) We must have posted at the same time. One of the things that happened, while we were researching the ADHD possibility for our DS, was how it applied to both DH and I. I think that's one of the reasons why, initially, I would think that ADHD was not a condition.... just normal.... because it was normal for me and for just about every member of my family.

Getting rid of the guilt will help you deal with the stress and with your child's needs. It will also help you with your weight-loss since, like me, you sound like a stress eater.

Sending ((((hugs)))) your way. I know you're not travelling an easy road right now, because I've travelled it for such a long time.
Unread 01-24-2003, 12:49 PM
DD diagnosed with ADD

Thank you, Dany!!
I appreciate the links becuase there are SO many out there, it's very helpful to get some recommended by those with experience!

Thanks to everyone for all you r help!

Boy, what a group of women! Amazing.
Unread 01-24-2003, 08:05 PM
DD diagnosed with ADD

Thanks for setting this up, Dany. I would never have thought about checking the parenting section since my kids are steps and are in their late 20's now.

As for the promised resources, well, DH can't find them just now he put them someplace where he wouldn't lose them, but since he constantly moves things around the house, well, they will show up soon. I'll keep asking. You can see why we are in such desperate need of Flylady, since the house has been re-shuffled :run3: every couple of weeks for the past 20 years. Anyway, stay tuned, and I'll get the resources soon.


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