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Needed: Words of hope Needed: Words of hope

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  #1  
Unread 02-05-2003, 07:49 PM
Needed: Words of hope

Hello. Have just switched forums, didn't know this one existed, I'm guessing because I never realized I needed it before.
Had TAH/USO in September, followed by complications that landed me back in the castle for week. Then came the terrorizing hormonal experience, only to be pushed out of the way for -- ovarian cysts!
First one (so the Dr. says) was found via condomcam in December. I saw him last week for pain, again, and he scheduled me for another one "just to see".
Ended up in the ER two nights ago, where they loaded me up on Morphine, then after ER doc called to see if Kind Dr. wanted to admit me, he told them to send me home with a doggie bag of Vicodin -- also found that I have a 3.5 centimeter cysts, that's leaking blood. Kind Dr. couldn't fit me in the next day, and when I saw him today, told me it "felt smaller" than last week. Now, I remember details pretty well, but exactly how many crotches (sorry, I'm a little miffed ) has he had his hand up in the last week, and he remembers mine by feel???? Anyway, kept appt. for ultrasound next week. He told me this was something I was "going to have to learn to deal with" every month or every other month. Um, no. He said he could give me Depo, which is not an option for me, last time I had it I gained 40 pounds and was depressed for a year. Then he actually LEFT THE ROOM when I started crying, and never came back.
DBF and friends, as well as my family doctor, have been telling me for months to find a new doctor, but I'm scared! Finally tonight even my mother, who keeps insisting he's a good doctor, I'm just not communicating well, told me to find another one. This is absurd! This is the same guy who told me I needed a new psychiatrist and wouldn't test my hormone levels until I showed up at his office unannounced and with a friend who wasn't afraid to tell him off... By the way, the levels were all off... surprise, surprise!
Bottom line is this -- I am tired of this. When I have had to deal with Dr. the last few days, all I can hear in his voice is exasperation. I firmly believe he just has no idea what to do and it would hurt his pride to admit it. Did I mention I begged for him to take the remaining ovary out during the first surgery? I have lived in this body for 30 years, and have had problems for 13... I KNEW something else would go wrong, yet everyone was just sooooo excited to tell me when I woke up from the Hyst that he "saved" an ovary... But did he save my quality of life? My health? My relationships? My sick days at work? My sanity? My belief and trust in doctors? ARGH! I am so frustrated and so tired of being tired and sick and in pain and anxious! Any words of comfort would be most appreciated!!!!
I could also use a reminder of how it is we do this and deal with the rest of our lives at the same time???
God I need a massage! And apparently a new doctor!
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  #2  
Unread 02-05-2003, 08:11 PM
{{{{{ princessinva }}}}}}

Hello..

I sure could feel the frustration in your post. 's You've been through alot.

I would not stay with that You have the right to expect a certain level of care and it's should be nothing but the best.

Good luck to you and I hope you get that massage! Sounds wonderful...



Lori
  #3  
Unread 02-05-2003, 09:53 PM
Why are you afraid?

It sounds like every visit to this doctor is an ordeal. Why in the world would you be afraid to change?? You can interview doctors until you find the one you want.

I find that when I'm emotional and my feelings spill over, doctors don't want to deal with me. Especially surgeons, who often like their patients asleep! So if you can be more matter-of-fact when you're with doctors who are not psychiatrists (and even some of them seem to have trouble dealing with feelings in my experience) you'll probably have better luck.

By the way, your doctor would have made a note of the size of your cyst and when he felt it again would compare it to what he noted. That's how he would know if it had changed or not.

I hate changing doctors. I'm seeing a surgeon for the second time tomorrow and I'm nervous about it. I hate to have to go through my history, I'm afraid I'll forget something on my list of things to ask, etc. But I'll continue to do it until I find a surgeon I feel comfortable with. I recommend it.

I'm sorry you've had a bad experience and hope you find a doctor who can relate to you soon.

Joselle
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  #4  
Unread 02-06-2003, 08:25 AM
Needed: Words of hope

PrincessInva:

Only you can judge whether or not your doctor is right for you. I have had at least 6 gyns that I have seen regularly for a time. Each one of them has had his own style.

The very first gyn I had was the worst. Totally lacked any compassion. Was half way out the door after the exam. When I did manage to squeeze a question in, he treated me like I was a silly little girl. I could go on for days about how poor of a job this doc did. You know the type.

After him, I moved out of town and had a very warm, compassionate fatherly type doctor who really listened and just made me feel cared for, like a good doctor should. I owe my 2 children to his excellent care. He asked me all the right questions and referred me to an endo specialist.

The endo specialist was a bit more matter of fact, but still gave me the impression that he really cared about my well being. I was a subject in his research project and saw him monthly for 6-8 months. His entire office staff was fantastic to me.

Then I moved back to my home town and I was wanting a break from specialists so I hired a family practice doctor who was also a great listener who made me feel like my opinion mattered. He deliviered my 2nd child and was there from the 1st push - never left my side. He sold his practice.

During that time I had an endo flare up and needed another lap so I went to a GYN who was a bit of a smart aleck, but otherwise competent. {Hey takes one to know one.... I am a SA to, so it really didn't bother me}. Chief complaint about him was that he was a little rough with the exams. I think I once asked him if he was trying to locate my spine. Ouch... this guy pushed hard on the ole tummy. He moved out of town at the same time my family practice doctor sold his practice.

But its all good.... Now I have a real sweet heart of a doctor who did my hyst. He is extremely smart and very confident in his opinions, but still asks me how I feel and considers my opinion. He gives me the impression that he respects me. He's also the gentlest doctor I have ever had, by a long shot.

You deserve someone that you can feel comfortable with. They are out there. It just might take some time to find the right one. Then if you can keep them from selling their practice, moving or retiring you are truly blessed.

I'll be ing for you.
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