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You know what I hate? You know what I hate?

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Unread 03-19-2003, 02:26 PM
You know what I hate?

I hate that I have spent the last 3 years of my life in pain and I hate that I have been always wishing time would go by faster so I could get to my doctor's appointments so maybe I can get some relief! I am still at that point! I have a urology appointment in 3 weeks and then probably an appointment in the OR for a bladder distention and hopefully an appointment in the future with my gyn and then who knows what then.....ultrasound? Laparoscopy? Who knows? I have spent three years obsessing and trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I have been through 2 surgeries in that time and have had countless appointments with my doctor's. I feel like I have wasted the last 3 years of my life...."wishing" it away, wanting time to go by fast so I can get to the doctor.

I was just thinking about depressing. Instead of truly enjoying life, I am spending it waiting for doctor's appointments and surgeries and uncomfortable procedures and there seems to be no end in sight yet!

Anyone feel like this?
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Unread 03-19-2003, 02:51 PM
You know what I hate?

I feel EXACTLY like that!!!

I too have the exact same thought about wanting it to hurry up and be here (Dr appts and surgeries) and I feel like one just leads to another. A road that is never going to end!!:cry:

I would say more, but my track record for jinxing myself is not good right now..

We are all here for you and can sympathize with your frusteration!!


Unread 03-19-2003, 03:44 PM
You know what I hate?

YES YES YES YES!!! I said exactly the same thing to a dear friend the other day.

Ah well, this time I now only have one day to wish away till the next appt LOL.

Thank goodness we have our dear hystersisters to post to as we wish away the time.

Lots of s to you both and good luck,
Steph xx
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Unread 03-19-2003, 06:49 PM
You know what I hate?

I'll be 4 years post hyst in May! So if you add in the years before the hyst I'm probably going on about 8 years+ of dealing with this stuff. I thought for sure the hyst was my ticket, I would be pain free and live a normal life. Little did I know what life had in store for me. My pain free days lasted about 6 months.

You know all I can do is keep looking for answers and try to do what I can to relieve the pain on a day to day basis. Is it easy? NO! There are many days that I just want to crawl under the covers and not come out. Many,many days I am just soooo tired of doing everything that I can to be painfree and nothing seems to work for an extended period of time. I'm tired of not being able to enjoy life. When I do it lays me up for days and days.

Unfortunately none of us had a crystal ball to tell what was in store for us, nor to tell us what the answers are. I still believe that one day I will find those answers. Until than I will keep looking. There are times when I get tired of the fight and just have to take a break and gather my strength for another round.

I'm sending s for all my road sisters. I do know that this is not an easy road to travel.
Unread 03-19-2003, 07:31 PM
In the club

Yes, I do know what you mean. I've been on the road here for 3 years. My hyst and bladder repair were in Nov. 2000. In Aug. 2001 I had a posterior repair for a rectocele and a lap for adhesions. In April 2002 I was in the hospital for a severe diverticulitis attack, at about the same time I went back to my gyn because the stress incontinence had returned and was getting worse. That led me to trying the conservative approach with kegels for a few months, before going to the urologist and then having several appointments and tests there - which finally led to the bladder sling surgery 3 weeks ago today. And, in the past, it was endo that first led me down this awful road - I had my right ovary removed, covered with endo, when I was 29 (I'm 43 now), and for the years prior to my hyst I had D&Cs, laps for the endo and adhesions, ect. ect. Sometimes I think - another year, another surgery, another doctor, another test, another alternative method, on and on. And of course, like many of us here, I've gone through all these things while having to balance work, 2 kids, 2 stepkids, my husband and an extended family as well. My heart goes out to you and all of us on the road. I can remember finding this site and posting on pre-op and post-op and glancing here on the road off and on. I remember thinking - "I sure hope I dont have so many of the complications these ladies have, they go through so much." And now here I am, a road dweller off and on for 3 years. I've decided we have a right to vent, be angry, get mad, ask questions, change doctors and do whatever we have to do to live. I have also decided that I will count my blessings and make it a rule to think of the positive, even in the darkest times when it is hard to do. Being supportive of one another is one of the main keys to drive along on this road and eventually find the healing we deserve. We do deserve to be healed, and I pray every day that all sisters on the road are experiencing this blessing now. You are all in my prayers.
Love, Light, Blessings
Unread 03-19-2003, 08:27 PM
{{{{{ Ladies }}}}}

DH, my Mom and I were just talking about this same subject tonight at dinner!

I'm feeling so much better today recovering from last week's lap. Other than a little soreness and pulling of the stiches, the discomfort doesn't even warrant pain meds...( the 1st day without!!!)

Now, I'm keeping my fingers crossed the IC med will kick in and that the discomfort I'm experiencing in the bladder area will subside. Who knows, it could be the feeling of "healing" from last weeks lysis too???? I hope that it's not that my "other pain" overshadowed the bladder situation. Time will tell....

This had been a really, really tough year and it's only 3 months into it!!!

Right now I'm trying to visualiz myself back on the golf course (2 year hiatus), Yoga 100% and active as I was 2+ years ago.

I'm trying to stay positively focused - it's very hard sometimes.

Unread 03-19-2003, 08:56 PM
You know what I hate?

I knew you all would understand

I remember being on pre-op and post-op and thinking..."I will never have to go to "the road less traveled"! It only took about 4 months and I was here!

I try to stay fact, I consider myself to be a very optimistic person, but it can be so hard! I will fight it though and I will get answers and get this...whatever it is...taken care of!

Thanks everyone
Unread 03-20-2003, 06:32 AM
You know what I hate?

Always remember, your sisters are here! We are here to you on, to give you a when you get discouraged and there will a big when you find the exit ramp!

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