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OK, reading the posts, I am getting really nervous!! OK, reading the posts, I am getting really nervous!!

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Unread 03-23-2003, 02:55 PM
Many hugs

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. As the others here have said, we all understand. I hope I haven't scared you by any of my venting about my bladder surgery and any posts I've replied to about the rectocele surgery. As you know, we all need to vent, and yes, surgeries can be tough and pre-op jitters can make it even harder to deal with. I just want you to know that I did indeed have complications with my surgeries, but in the big picture, I am glad I have had the surgeries to fix my problems. I am better since the rectocele, and although I am only 3 and a half weeks post-op from the bladder sling, and have had a real rough time, I know I am getting better each day. I coughed and sneezed and didn't pee my pants - hooray!!! Also, if I had a choice, I would have had all my repairs done with my hyst, even though you may be thinking you are having so much done, I wish I didn't have to go through a surgery every year. You can and will get through this. I remember thinking I couldn't stand to wait any longer, and then suddenly surgery day was here. I'm sorry you are in so much pain while you are waiting. When I have been feeling lousy over these past 3 weeks, especially when the foley was hurting me and driving me crazy, I would try to remind myself how awful it felt to have almost no bladder control and a dropped urethra, no pelvic floor support despite tons of Kegels, and leaking and losing urine all the time, even if I just turned around. So, try to keep focused on a positive end result. You will feel a lot better once your issues are addressed, even though it may be tough recovering. We are all here for you.
Love, Light, Blessings
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Unread 03-23-2003, 10:56 PM

Thanks sisters!!

What would I do without you all??

I just wanted to let you all know that I am feeling a bit better tonight. Especially when I logged on and read all of your responses. My 's to the rescue!! I am sure you all can relate to that shock of reality when you realize that you thought it was over with and it has come back with a vengence and feels like someone just kicked you when you were down..

It would be so much easier if the pain was not so bad. I just get frusterated feeling like this all over again and actually feeling more without my female organs than I did when they were all in there. I somehow feel cheated and it is sad but I personally think my Gyn could have prevented some of this if he had done some supporting of my other organs left in there and got rid of the endo and withheld Hrt for a bit. Dont get me wrong, I love him to death and I KNOW he did not expect this to happen, but I just see it as being preventable. Maybe that is just wishful thinking and trying to place blame somewhere and I know that is wrong. He could not have forseen this, (I think)(I hope)

My classes are over and I have a whole week to relax and
so I WILL be taking full advantage of that. I am giving myself a break and only taking 1 class this term as opposed to 3 or 4 (which I normally take) Hopefully that will prepare me for my upcoming surgery not having so much on my plate at once. All I can say is thank God I quit work when I did, one less thing to worry about!!

I love you all and thank god for all of you everyday!! You all keep me going when I am too far down and no one understands what I am going through. I have a really sweet neighbor that comes over at least once a week and she told me yesterday (not the day to tell me this) that she is scared to come over because everytime she does I have something else wrong with me. At least she comes over to make sure I am OK.

Well I will stop rambling for now. I will save some for later..

Thanks again Sisters!!
Unread 03-24-2003, 05:49 AM
OK, reading the posts, I am getting really nervous!!

I'm glad you're giving yourself a break with the studies. I also take classes and have had to take time off and lighten my load due to all my problems. School will still be there when you are ready! It's taken me longer than I wanted to finish, but I know I'll get there eventually.
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Unread 03-24-2003, 07:24 AM
Thanks Kim

Thanks for the inspiration Kim!!

I guess I really need to take care of ME first so I can give my all to my classes without having to deal with pain meds and surgeries..

I am so glad you gave me that glimmer of hope. I was starting to feel like I was doing it all for nothing and would never get there! I am learning quickly to take it day by day and not only look at the bad part of the picture.. All I can say is thank god my DH is finally here for me, if he was his old self I would never hear the end of it only taking 1 class.

Thanks again!!

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