I'm depressed....

I knew by letting you guys know how I felt, you guys would make me feel better.

Well, I'm back from my Dr. and while I didn't have the nerve to press him, I did ask him. He told me that he can tell me anything I want to know, but he can't tell me how long I have. So I didn't ask him anything else about that...

But, the good news is my tumor is shrinking it is smaller today than three weeks ago thanks to the taxol so the chemo IS working. That was great news, I was happy to hear that.

He told me I would be doing chemo as long as he feels my tumor, once it goes away, if it does, I will stop the chemo treatments. I asked him you mean, as long as you feel something, I can keep taking my chemo, he told me that he had a woman on chemo for 10 years.

So, that was hopeful. at least to me...

Anyway letting you know, I'm still somewhat distraught but not as bad as I was this morning. I just need a little time that's all..

Tammy,

Excellent news! Your tumor is shrinking! Stay strong!

Beth (She who cannot use smilies, or you would have tons of them leaping around)

s Tammy

That certainly sounds like good news to me. The taxol is doing it's job. Soo...... in the meantime try and live each day to the max. After all... two years from now when you are still here and healthy, you don't want to think you had just wasted the previous two years!!!
PS: Like you said, time does help.

karenann

Tammy,

I am glad that you are feeling a little better, I am so glad that your tumor is shrinking. I know how you feel, The day that I was diagnosed with cervical cancer my life went into a tail spin. Even though it is curable, I still thought the worse. Then when I got the actual Stage (not really staged) of my cancer I felt even worse, knowing that they may not have gotten it all. My radiation onc doc said that if I was staged it would be a Stage 2, probably Stage 2b. One of the words that I have banned out of my vocabulary is "I wish.........".

As Ester pointed out,...... "The people around you on the street - they may not be sick now, but they may not even live as long as you will!"

And Debbie said ............"I then thought of the people who died on 9/11 and what they would have given to have an extra year with their families. It doesmt matter as much how long we live as much as it does what we do with the time we have."

You and Debbie have been my anchor in the stormy sea of cancer, you both make me feel strong when I just want to give up. The both of you have been thru so much, in the short amount of time that I have been to this site. Live your live to the fullest for we know not when the Good Lord wants us to come home.

Hi! I read your post and then all the others that followed and I am so glad the tumor is shrinking! Everyone is so right...live for today and yourself...we are not statistics! Enjoy your children and your life and just keep thinking...cured. All my prayers and happy thoughts to you!
gucu

TAH/BSO, 3/7/2003, Stage III endo - haven't begun radiation or chemo yet.

That's good news it's shrinking--keep on shrinking tumor until you're beyond shrunk to gone, gone, gone.

Hi! I'm very glad to hear that the tumor is shrinking. Your meds are working and that's a good sign.

I was shocked when I read your earlier post because it never occurred to me that any of you strong ladies could be in jeopardy of losing their battles with cancer. I know that sounds ridiculous but it honestly never occured to me that this dreadful disease would win.
Tammy....Continue to fight hard!! JillSue

So glad to hear that your tumor is shrinking with the chemo. It's a plus to know that the chemo is working.

Write anytime you are down. This board is one giant hug of support to help carry you through the rough spots.

Hang in there.

Ruth S

Tammy, let me give you some hope. The DR told my seriously ill mother that she had only 2 yrs. left to live because of her severe heart condition.........guess what? You betcha! Mom has outlived that prognosis by 6 yrs. Its just a prognosis. Or an estimate. No one truly knows. Gee...I could die in the next hour by just stepping out the door and ____________ (You fill in the blank.)

What I'm trying to point out is that not one of us knows the time, the hour, the day, or even what will be the cause of our death. We have absolutely no control over it. Sure, you have your exercise guru's and health fanatics, but in the end, they're gonna die too, just like you and me. Someday. However, hopefully, someday is a LONG way off!!

My dear Aunt lived way beyond her prognosis for ovarian cancer. She was very joyful and full of life and had such a positive attitude. I believe because of her positivity, her "backbone", she beat cancer and was able to live in peace. She saw her children grow up, and experienced the joy of grandparenthood.

Don't get caught up in that "2 yrs. only" kind of thinking. It could be just 2 minutes and than it could be 20 yrs. or whatever . Cry, but be sure to keep living life one minute at a time. Hang on to hope! God Bless.

I have no medical help for you but i can tell you I will be praying for you and hope you will be able to live each day to its fullest. I had my LAVH on New Years eve...still trying to get back to normal whatever that is...Thank goodness for this site...I come in everyday just to read letters... God bless you and may you hear lots of encouraging words...