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Could I just whine? Could I just whine?

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Unread 04-04-2003, 02:52 PM
Could I just whine?


I am sick (stomach flu) and this is the second time I've been sick (last time was a cough-my-head-off-cold) since surgery for hernia repair seven weeks ago today. I feel like death warmed over. Yesterday I was just real tired and had a runny nose. DD left me with my 4-year-old gd who was home from school with a cold because we were expecting my home support worker to show up any minute. NO, support worker called in sick just when she should have been arriving. So no prepared food. Nobody to take over gd. She's a doll, but I am sooooo tired and my tummy is still sore from surgery, which is a bit of a concern.

This morning DH went off to meetings and told DD I was sick. She was busy around the house, I could hear her, but she never even came to see how I was or to offer to bring me something to drink. It's hard to believe she can be like this. It's hard to live with. I really think she just thinks she's respecting my request not to bother me when my door is closed - let me sleep. She's not being mean. But when SHE wants something she doesn't hesitate to come to the door! Sounds like excuses, I know. Anyway, gd is now with her daddy and DD is off to meeting with DH (she works for him). My DH is so tired and stressed it's painful to see and I don't want to put more of a burden on him.

I just want somebody to take care of ME and I guess that has to be ME!!!! Seven weeks already, I am starting to feel guilty about not getting back to at least opening the mail (bills!) but I just don't even want to know about a single other problem.

I could go on, you know? When will this all be behind me???

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Unread 04-04-2003, 04:54 PM
Could I just whine?

I'm so sorry that you are having such a difficult time. Isn't it unreal how we are the caregivers for the family 24/7 but when it is our turn to get a little TLC it is like "well mom, you are tough get back on your feet!" I felt that too after my hyster. with a 2 yr. old and a 6 yr. old. I felt so helpless too, even longing to vacuum but was in so much pain I couldn't. Just hang in there, and tell them what you need!!! If you wait for them to ask it will never happen!! lol I wish you a speedy recovery, and remember "this too shall pass."
Unread 04-04-2003, 04:55 PM
Could I just whine?

I'm sorry you're feeling so poorly. I know the feeling of wanting to be better NOW and not tomorrow. Perhaps a talk with your family about how you're really feeling will help. Now that my dh knows how much pain I really am in on a day to day basis he is much more considerate of my feelings. Oh he still has his moments but unless we tell those around us our feelings they won't know. I used to always hope that everyone would just know, but that isn't how it works sweetie.

You can whine here anytime my friend. That's what we're here for. We do understand. Many of us have and are in those same shoes.
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Unread 04-04-2003, 07:26 PM
Could I just whine?

You can whine anytime you need to sister. Sometimes I think the people around us get use to us being sick and lose some of their compassion. Other times I think they just don't think You might have to speak up if you have more expectations than what they are providing. It is sometimes hard to continue to ask for help but they don't realize if we don't ask. I totally understand the idea of putting more pressure on your DH too, but that's what we have each other for right? when things get tough we have to be able to lean on one another. Hopefully, being able to get some support here has lessened some of that load?? it did for me, cause I could express things that I wasn't sure I even wanted to discuss with my DH- things I don't think he would understand from a man's point of view. How can he relate to some of the stuff us ladies go through??

Maybe it's time to call your DR and talk about how tired and sore you are still feeling. Could be you might need some bloodwork done etc?? Lots of things can change in our bodies after surgery and recovery. I've had to really concentrate this time on taking care of myself especially my diet. I have added Vitamin B complex and am also eating a lot more whole grains to help with my overall health.

In the meantime, I am sending you big s, hoping tomorrow will be a better day. We are here for you.

Unread 04-04-2003, 07:47 PM
I'll bring the cheese and crackers...

and you bring the whine...anytime, ok??? That's what we are all here for - right??? Sending each other and when we need it.

I'm sorry you're still out of sorts. What kind of time frame for recovery did your doc give you for the type of surgery you had?? Maybe a "rest assured" call to their office on Monday is in order to be sure.

I wish you the best's an extra warm coming your way!!

Unread 04-04-2003, 08:16 PM
Could I just whine?

You can whine anytime! I know exactly how you feel about the family! My son was home from college a couple of weeks ago and said "your six weeks are up aren't they?" I can believe how self centered they can be! He just laughed after he said it, but I knew he really meant it! You just need a little more time. And take it don't expect anyone to give it to you. You have to take good care of yourself! And please don't feel guilty about anything. We all care about you and wish you better times ahead.

P.S. I am about 9 weeks now and I am still feeling tired so you are not alone, but each day I feel stronger! And you will too!
Unread 04-05-2003, 09:17 AM
Could I just whine?

HI Joselle,

Just want you to catch my I am sending- I know the feeling of "when will I feel better".. I had 2 surgeries w/in 7 weeks so I am right there with the frustration..

maybe you just need to let the family know how you feel now and that might help family is as frustrated as I am at times..

have a warm cup of tea nd hope you feel better real soon!!
You can whine here anytime, that is why we are here!!

Unread 04-05-2003, 10:15 AM
Could I just whine?


So sorry you are feeling down and out! I know the feeling of thinking everyone, but you, can take a break. I've been feeling the same way lately....especially with what has been going on with the ex. Of course, neither he nor the gf came and got the kids or called. Hard to explain to them that he just doesn't care. I'm exhausted always trying something to someone! I just need a break!

Didn't mean to intrude on your whine. Glad to have someone to share the bottle with.
Unread 04-05-2003, 12:10 PM
Could I just whine?

Thanks. I'm still feeling fragile, but your messages cheered me up. Today I have the house to myself and am trying to take advantage of that. Maybe I'll drag out my knitting. And maybe not!! Maybe I'll just read trash and watch the war. Which seems to be going well although I wish it weren't happening at all.

vbjack, you can whine too, even on my thread, Maybe you could tell your kids it's not that their dad doesn't care, because really, let's face it, deep down he probably does, but he just isn't able to do what he says he will right now. Or whatever. I know what you mean though - I need a break, too!!

Honest, my family is good. But you know, people are different and some people are better nurturers than others. And our kids seem to always be kids. Or am I the only one with grown kids who act like real kids???

Thanks again,

Unread 04-05-2003, 02:19 PM
Could I just whine?

Does my dh qualify as a kid? I don't have real children but some days, he really seems to be about 15. I do say that lovingly as he is a wonderful man and he is all mine and I wouldn't trade him for anything or anyone. But there are days......

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