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Have you ever...... Have you ever......

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Unread 04-11-2003, 07:27 PM
Have you ever......

Have you ever written a letter to your doctor? I am starting to consider doing this. I just don't want to call the advice nurse to tell her my concerns only to have her translate it to the doctor and then wait for her to call back with a message from the doctor. I just don't feel like that ever works very well. If you have been reading my posts, you know what's been going on with me. You also know that after my appointment today, that I don't want to talk to anymore doctor's! My husband said he was going to call my gyn if I don't. I just don't think I can bring myself to do it. BUT, maybe I can write a letter explaining my symptoms and let him know that I am tired of waiting to see if the bladder medications help my "ovarian" pain. I just don't think anyone should have to live with this pain that I am living with! Is it a totally dumb idea to write a letter to my gyn? I just want to be able to make SOMEONE understand that I need some REAL help!

I must sound like a big to you, but I just can't take another doctor brushing me off. Atleast if I write a letter, he wouldn't be brushing me off to my face!
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Unread 04-11-2003, 07:55 PM
Have you ever......

Oh yes, go for it and put it all in writing...and mark it 'personal'. I should have written one to my gyno also, BUT was too hesitant to do so.

I rang him up one day with distressing bladder concerns and he was soooo dismissive he wouldn't even let me explain all my symptoms. He was abrupt and all he said was, "It's nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, don't worry!" I felt scolded and ridiculed by his comment that I don't want to see him again.

Fortunately my GP is a very caring person and listened to all my concerns and has run a number of tests ...still waiting for some results to return. I feel much more at ease now.

Wishing you much relief very soon, goodluck!
Unread 04-11-2003, 07:58 PM
Have you ever......


I have been following your posts and I know what you are going through. Comunicate with your Dr ANY way you feel you can!!

I posted that I made a list for my Gyn and he went so far as to put it in my records. It helps to write it down for whatever reason you feel you need to, be it because you forget things once you get there like I do, or you feel you get brushed off. BELIEVE me, letters speak for themselves. I know this because if you may remember I wrote DH a 10 page letter because I felt like he never really listened to me.

Do feel ashamed for having to write a note to your Dr. It should make him feel ashamed that he really does not listen. Maybe this way he will GET the picture!!

Good luck, I am a great proof reader if you need help with it. PM me if you want..
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Unread 04-11-2003, 07:59 PM
Have you ever......

OOPS, I meant to type DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED!!!

Sorry, its the meds....
Unread 04-11-2003, 09:00 PM
Have you ever......

Pasdechat, after years of being brushed off by doctors, that's exactly how I presented my complaints to the doctor I have now. As it turns out, I don't think it was necessary. He's the best doctor I've ever had and such a good listener. He read the summary of my problems at my first appointment right there in the exam room and made comments as he read, then referred back to it during the exam. Basically I told him the reason I wrote it was so I wouldn't forget to tell him anything.

Sending a letter ahead of time sounds like a good idea! I've read your other post about your disappointing dr appointment. I know you had very high hopes that you'd get some answers and I'm so sorry that didn't happen. It's hard to keep faith in the medical profession since it's failed you so many times. All I can say is that you have to keep trying because the right doctor is out there for you and you deserve to live pain free.

Unread 04-11-2003, 10:41 PM
Have you ever......

Does your doctor have email? I've seen a couple of doctors lately who check up on their patients via email. You could ask.
Unread 04-11-2003, 11:19 PM
Have you ever......

Thanks so much everyone! I think I will do it! I just don't have it in me emotionally to talk to any doctor or nurse about this. I will probably start crying, like I did today with the urologist, and they'll probably think I'm a lunatic! So, for me, I think the letter is the best way to go.

Joselle, I go to Kaiser Permanente....don't know how familiar you are with Kaiser......and I can only email the advice nurses and they can forward an email to my doctor, but I would really rather keep it between me and my doctor. I wish I had a personal email address, that would be a good way to go about it.

So, here's the question........do I stick to the facts? Or do I pour my heart and soul out to him(as well as the facts) and let him know how this is making my life soooooo hard.....being a mom of 4 little ones, a ballet teacher, and now a student that will eventually go to nursing school and become a nurse, I just don't need this pain!!!!!!! Any ideas on how to go about this letter? I want it to make him really think about my situation.

Thanks again everyone!
Unread 04-12-2003, 01:03 AM
Have you ever......


Great idea writing a letter. I'd put all the facts down first and then follow that up with the 'heart and soul' stuff. I think you need to write both but keep them separate, especially if your DR's a MAN. Bearing in mind that men aren't too good with the emotional stuff, if you've set the facts out first they won't get overlooked. You get the picture!!!!

Good luck.
Unread 04-12-2003, 06:48 AM
That reminds me . . . .

I have written 2 or 3 letters to my gyn in the past re something medical. (Also wrote her a personal thank you and good-bye letter when she retired. Boo hoo!) The letters re medical are in my file. Current gyn and surgeon looked them over when I was with them for consults.

Mary D.
Unread 04-12-2003, 08:15 AM
Have you ever......


Hey sweetie....I am so sorry things are not going well for you right now. Just catching up on your posts.

I am thinking that writing it down is a great idea. Better yet, write down everything... your feelings, your symptoms anything you need to get off your chest. That will be great therapy. Then, go back in a few hours and re-read it and edit it to make sure that what you are communicating in the letter is what you want your doctor to know (no more, no less). I'd even put it down and go back to it the next day and edit it more. Then, I would carry the notes with you to your appointment and hand them to your doctor (this worked really well with my gyn at a preop appt).

Unfortunately, some males will dismiss our facts if they are delivered with emotion. That's just how some of them are wired. And, to better communicate with them, we have to understand how to get on their frequency.

BTW...I do have a GP that personally reads and responds to e-mail. He's a real find. I think the rest of them are going to have to get on board with that eventually.

Take care and keep in touch. We do care!!!!

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