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Have you ever...... Have you ever......

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Unread 04-12-2003, 09:56 AM
Have you ever......

Thanks again everyone for even more feedback! I appreciate it all!

Michelle....your idea is great about writing everything down and then going back and editing it. I actually typed out a letter last night and already plan to edit it a bit. Unfortunately, I don't have an appointment to take it with me to, which is why I want to write the letter. I don't have the nerve to even call to set up an appointment because that would mean I would have to explain my symptoms yet again.

I think the letter I typed out last night was a great start. I won't send it to him until I am completely happy with him. One thing about my gyn is that yes, he is a man, but he is at least a little sensitive and does seem to truly care. So I think adding a little emotion is good. You are all right though, men just don't do the emotional thing very well. My husband is one of the very few that deal with emotions really well. If he was a doctor and a patient(like me) were to break down and cry, he would probably give them a hug. That's why I'm lucky Yesterday when I was driving home from the urologist, I called my husband sobbing and he just listened and sympathised and when I got home he met me outside and hugged me. Then we went inside and he just held me for a few minutes. Why can't more men be like that?

ANYWAY, I'm just going on and on. Thanks again to all of you!

Pam, I just might take you up on your offer to proof read my letter. We'll see
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Unread 04-12-2003, 06:51 PM
Have you ever......

I also agree, if you can't do it on the phone then a letter is a good idea. I've worked for two doctors and I want to tell you about letters that arrive in the mail. In both offices, the staff, usually the office manager, opens and reads all the mail first. If the letter is marked "confidental" then it usually is not read....but the seal may be broken for the doctor. As with most lab reports or letters the patient's chart is pulled and the information clipped to the front. Two piles of mail and reports stack during the day...the "most urgent" and the "not so urgent". Write URGENT on the front and your name and return address so your chart can be pulled without someone reading your letter.

Some doctors have short attention spans. Make your letter very factual and as short as possible. Always include your wishes
or something you think will help solve your problem. Try to add a time line, ending with the acutual amount of months or years you have been in pain. Follow up with a sentence that tells what you expect from him... a follow up appt, a follow up phone call, a referral and then set a time frame like: may I please hear from you within the week.... or by April 25th, etc

I never use the word "feel" when I talk to a doctor. I use the word "think" instead. And...I'm certain all offices run differently, this is only my experience with the mail.

Best of luck with this.
Unread 04-12-2003, 08:10 PM

Hey there Sister!

I've just finished reading your thread and think you writing the doc a letter is a fabulous idea! Michelle's idea of editing is great. I've done this in the past (not in letters to the doc) and found it to be great therapy.

When I had the problem with my GYN's nurse earlier this year, I spoke directly to my doc about it - she happened to call me to see how I was doing with the breast biopsy - and it was a perfect time to bring it up. Since then, when I see this nurse in her office, she is much warmer and compassionate. I never thought she meant to be a nurse from "you know where" but, to have that kind of job you need to have compassion. How she treated me was without...she needed to go to the store and buy some and that is exactly what I told my doc! Hey maybe she did!!!!

The bottom line is you need to voice your concerns and your dissappointments. The lines of communication need to be completely open in the best interest of your health...which is the #1 priority. What you are feeling is part of your health and your doc should "hear" what you have to say, whether it's verbally or on paper.

You go girl....Keep that chin up and you will get through this eventually....


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Unread 04-13-2003, 07:32 AM
Have you ever......

I think that is a wonderful idea I've thot of doing something similiar myself....it's soo much easier to express your true thots & feelings when you have time to think more about them than when your face-to-face w/your Dr on a limited time schedule Pls let me know how it goes over should you decide to give it to him..Good Luck........(((hugs)))
Unread 04-13-2003, 09:08 AM
Have you ever......

Thanks Maralyn, Lori and Sheri!

I finished my letter last night and I have it in the envelope, addressed and stamped, but not sealed. I want to be able to read it one last time before I mail it off tomorrow. I want to make sure I didn't say something I don't want to or I want to make sure I put everything in there that I want to say. I think I got my point across that I am at a point where I need help. I told him about my urologists plans(since my gyn referred me to him), but I avoided saying anything negative about my horrible appointment a couple days ago. I explained why I am writing the letter, I listed my symptoms and I explained what I expected from him. At the very end I told him that I have faith in him as a doctor and that I hope he can help me. I kept the letter very factual, but threw in a few "feeling's". I think it sounds good and so does my husband. I will let you all know how it goes. I will be in complete shcok if my doctor calls me himself. He has never done that with all the many times I have called him. We'll see........

Thanks again to everyone who responded. Thanks for all the great support! I was so unsure about writing this letter until I posted this thread. Now I am very sure!
Unread 04-13-2003, 09:53 AM
Good Morning!!


I'm glad you finished your letter : You're tone sounds much better this morning too!!!

One more thought....it just might be a good idea for you to keep a copy of the letter to refer to during your conversation with the doctor. Maybe even putting the copy into a sealed envelope would be a good idea....then put it away, out of sight until he calls.

Please keep us posted.

Unread 04-13-2003, 10:05 AM
Have you ever......

That is a good idea Lori. I will do that. Let's just hope he actually calls me!

I will let you all know how it goes
Unread 04-13-2003, 02:09 PM
Have you ever......

Wonderful.. . Good job. Fingers are crossed for you.
I especially like the part about you having faith in him...Your letter deserves a personal reply...hope you get it.

I once emailed my concerns to a doctor and was called by his office within days. His manager told me the doctor would call me as soon as he could. Well...hello...what was I to do? Stand by the phone? I printed a copy of my letter and placed it at every phone in the house incase he caught me on a hard line. I also placed note paper and a pen at each phone. I stayed in the house for two days and I got the call late (7:15) on the second evening.

Even if you don't get the personal reply...you've done your best to convey your thoughts, feelings, and request for help. Try to relax. And......let us know the outcome of your labor.
Unread 04-13-2003, 03:27 PM

I am SO sorry that your appointment went badly, I hope you can get to the bottom of your problem. I also think a letter to your gyn is a good idea. I had a traumatic appointment after my really good one. It made me want to curl up and never see the dr again. I also can relate to the eating food for comfort thing. I hope and pray you get an answer.
Best Wishes & please let us know how you are doing.
Unread 04-13-2003, 07:14 PM
Have you ever......

YES write your Doctor. When I write him with my concerns... he calls the day he gets it and reads it. He actually talks to me like I am a human being then just another annoying patient. I highly reccommend it!!!

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