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Remember my previous "moral question" about HPV factor? Remember my previous "moral question" about HPV factor?

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Unread 04-21-2003, 12:13 PM
Remember my previous "moral question" about HPV factor?

I had asked about making aware to previous parnters about my diagnosis and HPV factor. Mainly concerned for my ex husband and his young new wife. Well, because I am still in contact with the ex's sister, we are friends, I've recently found out some info. Evidently, his wife had an abnormal Pap. She went in last week for a consult to discuss colposcopy and biopsy along with possible LEEP. She is pretty shook up and scared. She also told me that she had genital warts during her pregnancy in 2001. I too had them, but it was 11 years after my genital warts that I got my first abnormal pap. I guess my ex's sister mentioned how the male (my ex) can be a carrier and his wife said that really got him going (mad). He accused me and his wife of sleeping around. I told his wife that is not the point. The point is you do have it and there is nothing you can do about it except take care of yourself (nutritionally, mentally, physically). I got to speak with the ex's wife a bit when she picked up my son this weekend. I tried to reassure her that I am sure they caught it early and that she'd be okay. I encouraged her no matter what the outcome, continue getting regular paps. I guess this is the first one since she had her baby in 2001. I also encouraged her to search the web for HPV and cervical cancer to educate herself. I hope her doctor's care is adequate, she has Medical.
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Unread 04-21-2003, 06:06 PM
Remember my previous "moral question" about HPV factor?

Peaches, I do remember your previous thread. What has happened to your Ex's wife seems to back up your opinion that we should try to contact previous partners. Thankfully, she did get her pap but I guess we have to ask ourselves....what if she didn't and her condition wasn't found until much later. It is pretty scary.

Unread 04-21-2003, 06:41 PM
Remember my previous "moral question" about HPV factor?

's Peaches!

I feel bad for your ex's wife. It is unfortunate that your ex would be angry and accuse the 2 of you of sleeping around on him. It's difficult to accept responsibility in a case like this--perhaps he might also read some info or ask her doctor some questions about the situation. I'm sure he feels guilty about things, but his wife needs his support and not his accusations. It is so very kind of you to talk to her. Perhaps she will have more questions in the future and she will talk to you more about it.

As far as contacting previous partners, well, I guess one could do it if one were so inclined. I don't have particularly strong feelings about it one way or the other. Telling them won't stop it from spreading, unfortunately (since condoms are ineffective at preventing transmission), but if they would be an advocate to their new partners for getting regular PAP's then at least it might be caught before it progresses too far. It's hard for me to imagine a man telling his partner to get her annual PAP (my husband pretends they don't exist ), but some may do it.

Let us know if you hear anything about her outcomes. Thanks for sharing--it's certainly food for thought.
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Unread 04-21-2003, 07:23 PM
Remember my previous "moral question" about HPV factor?

You mentioned that your ex is likely a carrier, though he denies it. Is there any way he'd be willing to go to the doctor to get checked? If he is a carrier, would a test of some sort reveal that? Or will he just not go? If not, that is just so sad.
Unread 04-21-2003, 09:35 PM
Remember my previous "moral question" about HPV factor?

I think this is sort of a "the chicken or the egg thing". If there was such a test it wouldn't be any surprise if he tested positive since he has had relations with two woman who carry the virus.

There's no place for the blame game with HPV. What's important is the we get the word out so that sexually active woman know what's at risk and get their paps regularly.
Unread 04-22-2003, 09:50 AM
Remember my previous "moral question" about HPV factor?


I agree with you on both points. There is a test but how could you ever be sure who contracted HPV first? You couldn't be 100% sure. Though I think that Peaches' ex should not accuse anyone of sleeping around, because that's just lame, we cannot be sure that he in fact gave the virus to his new wife. I definitely agree that there's no place for trying to prove who gave what to whom and when in this situation.

Peaches, I'm glad that you were able to set your mind at ease by talking to your ex's wife.

Unread 04-22-2003, 09:56 PM

I had HPV and my obgyn said this could have been from YEARS before and not shown up. I always had yearly pap smears. But it showed up well into my marriage. I had reason to believe otherwise- but he insisted its origin is not always clear. It is also VERY common of women of my age (46). Luckily now- no cervix!

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